Thursday, November 26, 2009

Hillary Making Diplomatic Strides in India

"....and then I blinked my eyes like in "I Dream of Jeannie" and Bill laid out a make believe magic carpet for us to neck on, and that was the night Chelsea was conceived..."

Boy Finds His Natural Father

We've got good news and bad news.
The good news is....we found your father! The bad news is:
IT'S CHARLES MANSON!!!!"

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Rush Limbaugh: Gallop Poll Counting Too Many Blacks For Obama

Rush Limbaugh recently accused the Gallop Poll company of polling a disproportionate amount of blacks to boost Barack Obama's approval ratings to just above 50%. In a similar story, Limbaughs own numbers have been going up since Gallop increased the polling of big fat idiots.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Cheney Criticizes Obama for Bowing to Japanese Emperor

Dick Cheney blasted President Obama today for showing weakness when he bowed to Japan's Emperor Akihito. There is no reason for an American president to bow to anyone, the former vice president told Politico.com. "Our friends and our allies don't expect it, and our enemies see it as a sign of weakness," he added. "In our day we would hold hands with a guy and French kiss him if we wanted to show respect. Then we would go back to the hotel and rent "The Prince of Tides" and just cuddle".